That SHOULD be ME!
I sleep on flights. I enjoy it and I look forward to it- with my mouth wide open, if I might add. I have more than one picture like that, thanks to my man who finds that sight of me entertaining lol.
Last night, I walked onto my flight and put my carry on bag up, as I normally do. When two ladies stood next to me, sounding flustered a bit and giggling. One of them tried to put her bag up next to mine, but was struggling because it had jackets and all kinds of things on it. I put my book on my seat so I could help them. As soon as I was done, one of the ladies rushed to sit down, and I said; “Let me sit down first because I am sitting by the window”. I always check in online so that I can pick the window seat, so I can sleep comfortably! This was all to make these ladies' lives convenient. Right after we all set down, I hear the lady sitting next to me say to her friend, “ Didn’t you want the window seat?” Friend: “Yes, I should be sitting there, but this lady decided to sit there first!”
I sat there and I thought, “SHOULD.” What does she mean that she should be sitting here? I was the one who picked this seat. As I was processing this, she made further comments about what a great view she would have had sitting by the window, seeing the city lights at night, and how that seat would have been perfect for her!
How is it that people/someone can comfortably voice their discomfort about YOUR seat, one that has YOUR name on it? How can they make you feel uncomfortable about what's yours? God used this very moment as a teaching moment for me.
The most natural thing for me in these situations is to first double check if I am sitting in the right seat, then offer the lady my seat. In this moment, God presented this situation as if it were life. Why do I (we) feel uncomfortable being blessed and favoured? There will always be the poor among us the bible says. I cannot make myself suffer for the benefit of others. God wants to bless me, and He wants me to enjoy His blessings!
There are things with my name on it and in this season God wants me (you) to walk into them confidently, even if it means that others will feel uncomfortable. Yes, we should remain kind and humble, but God reminded me last night to never ever feel guilty about being blessed. I shouldn’t feel that I am in the wrong place just because someone else feels deservant of what I have been blessed with.
In any situation in life I always try to make things convenient for people, and make them feel comfortable. I dumb down my intelligence, down play my achievements and dim my light. I do this, all because I don’t want to seem boastful or proud. I was confronted about that last night by the Holy Spirit. I felt God say to me, how will they know I do great and amazing things, if you minimize them? How will they see my great power, if you dim the light I gave you?
While thinking about what God was saying, as if to reveal to me yet again, that His great favour somehow “embarrasses” me, my neighbor (the lady next to me) asked how much I booked this flight for. I told her. She then says, “wow, we booked for 3 times your amount. When did you book?” she asked. I told her and we both realized it was one day apart. I again felt bad about this, so I brought up an old story of when I paid a lot of money for a single flight, too. There I go again, trying to overcompensate and make others feel comfortable in a situation where they had the same opportunity to access, what I secured as mine.
This morning, while drinking my coffee, and meditating. I was tasked with a responsibility, and that responsibility is; 1. To repent. How dare I minimize the wonderful things God does for me? How dare I play down all the great miracles the Lord has done for me? 2. Ask God to help me deal with the root of this. 3. Thank God publicly always! I am committing to change my mind about this, instead of thinking that my blessings and prosperity highlights others' lack. I need to start believing that God uses that to encourage them and motivate them. My light makes others see better and that’s a good thing. It is wonderful to be blessed by God so that all can see the wonderful working God in me and that they too can believe in Him.
May we never shy away from where God has put us. May we arrive confidently, and certain that He wants us there. Even when others make us feel like we are not worthy, may we know that we are WORTHY!
Things weren’t always like this, that’s the miraculous part of my story. They drastically changed after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I live a full, healthy, and amazing life. I hope my life blesses and gives hope. From this day forward, I will sit comfortably in my seat, and enjoy my sleep because God wants me there. I won’t feel pressured to explain or even justify my blessings, but I will rest comfortably in the blessings of God.